View Full Version : will be missin all of you
anonymous
06-01-2005, 09:26 AM
Well folks it never seems to amaze me here i am trying to help out another family by letting them stay with us and here i am thinking awww finally a chance to get ahead and BLAM less than two weeks after they get in it all starts to go down hill now i really dont get this but ill try to explain.....
first off they told us they would give us 400 plus half the bills a month well we are and the end of our 2nd month together and we have only recieved money for the first month nothing not a dime going towards the second month :mad: here my wife works two jobs while they sleep till almost noon and neither of them have tried to really find work now mind you this is supposed to be one of my best friends (for 20 plus yrs ) he has a wife and 2 kids and of course i have a wife and 1 kid so that 7 people in a small 2 bedroom well im sorry folks i seem o be jibbering (im sorry im just so lost and confused) well needless to say our phone got cut off yesterday and today the electric is gone i have know idea on what to do i mean they have a family with kids and dont want to put them out like that but what do i do >? i am so so lost i just sit at night and cry because this is tearing me and my family apart and this is the last thing i need to loose a close friend to come to find out they screwing me and that we may loose our home because of all this sorry bout venting to you guys it seems like you all are the only ones i got left (of course besides my imeadiate family) well folks it may be a lil while but ill try and check in every few days (using the neighbors puter) wishing you all the best of days..!!!
Welcome Home Marco & Sue..!! :)
esterinco
06-01-2005, 09:29 AM
Good vibes headed your way.
kidzag
06-01-2005, 09:33 AM
anonymous.....shoot me a pm with some details (how much cash you need) I won't be able to help alot, but maybe we can help a little.
If this person has been your friend for 20 years you should be able to talk to them about the situation, try to pull together and resolve this problem......if that doesn't work.....your family comes first and make sure your friend knows that "it's just business" but they have to go.
BigDaddyc9
06-01-2005, 09:35 AM
Sorry to hear Anon-I once helped out a friend like that.I had to finally tell him how it was....it was a tense situation but it died down and my point got across.Tell him/her that your family is starting to suffer and if he/she is a true friend will try anything to rectify the situation.Hope to see you back soon.Peace and good luck-BigD
GreenGirl
06-01-2005, 09:39 AM
Been in that situation a long time ago. I am so sorry you are going through such a hard time. It is so very hard. Best wishes to you and your family.
zigzag1a
06-01-2005, 09:40 AM
a difficult position to be in for certain.
ya want to help your friend and his family and thats a very positive thing to want to do.
unfortunate that they don't seem to want to help themselves.
theres no easy fix to this that i can see, but if your not honest with your friend and tell him how your feeling about this then your doing a service to no one.
gonna be bad feelings on this one no matter how it turns out.
micah
06-01-2005, 09:41 AM
sorry to hear of your situation anon..you must look after your own families needs first !! Secondly they have not lived up to their side of the bargain by NOT paying you as agreed. If he truley is your friend he will understand the situation and do whats necessary to take care of his own family...micah
________
IPAD CASES (http://accesoriesipad.com/)
eirke
06-01-2005, 10:02 AM
It's a hard postition to be in, especially with a family that has children. Your efforts to help have good intentions, but peace and security at home has to be at the top of the list. Let your homeboy know that you can't stretch yourself out anymore. If he's a true friend, he should understand.
If you're in the states, there are numerous agencies a family can get help from.
buddyh
06-01-2005, 10:41 AM
Dude,
Brooklyn tough love.
1) tomorrow, wake them up at 7AM, give them coffee and the want ads.
2) tell them that they better start looking for work. Ten phone calls and at least 1 interview a day.
3) they better start kicking in some cash ASAP
4) Have a list of Shelter prepared
5) the first day that they don't have an interview, give them the list of shelter's and tell them to start calling these instead of looking for work.
Or tell them that they can sleep at your place, but they need to be out of the house at 7:00AM each morning and they can come back to sleep at 8:00PM
Get them gone. It's no point in bring yourself and your family down to help a supposed friend. No Phone, No Electric and soon possibily no home? Stop the maddness.
Before your give them any food, ask for 5 bucks a head.
I don't mean to sound harsh, but these folks will let it ride for as long as they can.
You need to pull the plug and take care of you and yours.
I've been in the position of being helped by friends when I had no where to go and every day I was out either looking for work, working day labor or even selling my stuff out on the streets and almost every day I had money to give them or to buy food or something.
I had a friend who was on unemployment. He had to turn in a list of at least 10 places every week that he called trying to get work. He would just open up the phone book and start calling places. He usually had to call at least 25 places to make his list.
Why?
Because usually at least 15 places, and these are places that he would just cold call, wanted to give him work, but he wanted to stay on unemployment for as long as he could.
There is work everywhere, people just need to be industrious (sp?).
People like the ones at your place are just being leeches.
Leeches suck blood.
I know that I'm sounding harsh, but you can't help anyone unless they want to help themselves, these folks don't sound like that type.
Cut your losses and regroup.
Be Well,
Buddy
S_a_H
06-01-2005, 11:06 AM
Same thing happened to me with a buddy I have known since 8th grade. Him and his wife were moving from Florida to Washington and their car broke down and I let them stay with me. After a couple months and no jobs and no help with the bills I gave them a dollar and told them to get an apartment. ( the complex were I was living was having a promotion of only $1 to move in ). They have since moved back to FL to mooch off of her mom.
p.s. Who were they living with before you ?
Stray
06-01-2005, 11:09 AM
Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind...
Rule 1 - Look out for your own families needs...
Rule 2 - No cash - no roof no food no phone no power no water...
Rule 3 - No one will give it to you therefor do not give out freebies...
Rule 4 - When you even think of helping...
DON'T PUT THEM UNDER YOUR ROOF...
Don't help them out of your own pocket...
Point them to the service orgs that can help them...
Thats what the shelters & the food bank are for...
Rule 5 - Get every agreement in writing...
Verbal agreements are as good as what they are written on...
Thin air...
I learned these little rules the hard way myself...
I use to help & give of myself...
I have been burned so many times that its not funny...
When I need help it isn't there...
Now I give people 3 strikes...
If they blow it - they are gone from my life without hesitation...
You change the locks, pack their stuff in boxes & set it out under a tarp
on the lawn & you tell them to find a shelter to move into...
You are not the free ride fairy...
Report the situation & your agreement to the LEOs...
Include any documentation...
If you have herbs - you will need to pull your grow...
Stray...
Joshua
06-01-2005, 12:06 PM
Hi Anon,
Man , I'm sorry to hear that, I wish I could help some but we are not doing any better over here. This economy sucks terribly and everyone is suffering. I sure hope something good comes your way soon, your a good man and you deserve a break. You are all in my prayers.
joshua
anonymous
06-01-2005, 02:04 PM
Thanks EVERYONE :) :) for the advise i know i need to do the right thing im almost to the point of just telling them to hit the road and this isnt what i want to do and like ive said before im not good with words so im almost sure this is going to not turn out like it should but then again the more i think about it i really dont care what they think but then again i dont like feeling like this but i feel like i have too.....im so lost and thanks but no thanks kidzag its just a short time ill be out if at all my wife and i are strong people we just need to tell them like it is i guess.... im flattered of the thoughts thank you ..:) Buddy im not offended in any way Thank you for a great idea i think im coming up iwth ways to make this work S a H they had an apartment both with jobs within 3 weeks they both lost there jobs but he got unemployment and still gives us a lil 100 every 2 WEEKS and most of that goes back into the house Stray those are goodrules to follow by (anyone thinking of doing something like this and you have your doubts please take stray's advise Josh your an aswome man and have never done me wrong you have always given me such good advise and helped me out even when you need it yourself im so greatfull Thank you .!!
well so far i guess so good they only turned off my water instead of my electric but my neighbor ran a phone line so i can at least check in here and there..!!
Bigmouth
06-01-2005, 02:06 PM
Pray'n for you!...
anonymous
06-01-2005, 02:17 PM
and to top it off i just find out im not the top poster anymore :( j/k congrats Binky on Becoming TY's newest top poster ..!! :D
iggysplat
06-01-2005, 02:34 PM
Rule number one anon.....always look out for you and yours first.....That is not a friend in my book. Give them directions to a cheap motel and say later
gen131
06-01-2005, 07:29 PM
possibly the three of you could discuss all aspects of your situation and then you could ask your child what the compassionate thing to do would be, unless your child is a teenager and then it should be as an adult. take the childs advice.
gen 131 is an existential nihilist who believes in Jesus Christ and mmj. i have heard that guests are like fish, after three days they start to stink. guest are like fish but guest are not fish, you cant make them into soup. of course friends are like guest but friends are not guest. i write lots of things between the lines or not.
started this post at 3 and now its 6 i was distracted a few times. still thinking but i will end this post now.
life is a carnival...the band
Merlin
06-01-2005, 08:35 PM
sorry to hear of your troubles anon, I hope hope things start looking up for you.
Best wishses to you and your family...
i'd think they'd have gotten the hint when the electricity got shut off. any REAL friend would get off his or her ass and do everything in their power to help you get things straightened out ASAP. best of luck and a posi-vibe.
Stray
06-02-2005, 01:28 AM
One other rule of survival...
Users they are like leeches & viri...
Leeches congregate & bring everyone down with them...
Same as a virus...
They prey on the weak & vulnerable...
(IE those who can be taken for a free ride...)
When there is no more to take & only then they move on...
Or when the host becomes strong enough & fights back they will leave...
It is survival of the fittest...
Never leave yourself or your family open to be preyed on...
Its nice to be caring, trusting & giving towards your fellow man...
But you have to know when to draw the line & back it up...
$100 every 2 weeks for how many guests using your amenities???
IMHO - sorry but you are being used...
You are not responsible for these people...
Unfortunately you are enabling them to use you...
They are using guilt to keep using you...
There are shelters out there who the gov sponsors that can house them...
There are food banks, service orgs, shelters, and other groups that can
better handle people like that...
Sorry - but I call it like I see it... You have to show them the door & soon...
My aunt went bankrupt and lost the house she owned from people users
using her hospitality & leeching from her... Where are they now - still using
people... Where is my aunt - sitting destitute in a seniors home thanks to
those leeches...
I don't want to see that happen to others... It is a hard lesson...
Stray...
Druid420
06-02-2005, 01:59 AM
Hey there Anon, I hope it gets better for your family. I went through it with a friend last year there his family, and got pretty much the same treatment not to mention the food bill. I had to talk to them and they don't want me as a friend no longer, but I can still sleep at nights. Peace
nooely
06-02-2005, 02:08 AM
ok mate..let mesee if i can help..as coming from ireland were things were bad..i was brought up in a concret jungle were folks helped each other out all the time..
but the has to be rules as every thing on this earth costs cash..now theses folks must see whats happening ..and in no way would a true mate want anything bad like this to happen to you...we all looked out for each other and made sure things never got to out of controll
when i was growing up i to was left in the dark on many a night and had gone without food for 2 days once...now as i was only a kid back then ..things sound normal to me..but by no way are they...
so hopfuly you have read this and got the mesage
you want to mess up your kids life to..thinking this is ok...no food,no money,no power..notting..cos mate we have all grown up now and most are dead or in jail or just out and out fucked up
trust me mate dont bring this shit on to you family..they not his mate for 20 years or so
i dont have very much but can help out with a few bob,to turn your power on or pay your rent...and get rid cos no mate would drag an other mate down with him like this...its your kids and his kids i feel so bad for cos my childhood was a very big mess up and no it had a very big part to play in my life
need a safe addy
pflover
06-02-2005, 02:32 AM
lisa and i have been there too. i wish i had more friendly advice to give you than what buddy has purposed but that is the honest best answer. gods it sux being you your shoes right now but hang in there. things will improove if you don't give up.
hugz.
Ally
Cadillac
06-02-2005, 02:37 AM
it seems they have mistaken kindness for weakness. I hope you get it straightened out soon. good luck. Cadillac
pierre drouin
06-02-2005, 03:17 AM
:( sorry to hear about your luck brother.
i will pray for you and your familly.
i had tons of friends before i got sick and was making good money and always helped my fellow man in any way i could being money or physical work.
now am all cripple and can't lift anything over 30 or 40 lbs,am sorry anony but even the friends i took care of and fead and sheltered for years wouldn't even come and help me now.
my kid and my girl friend is really all i have that will always be there for me.
the only suggestion i can give you ,you already heard it many times, take care of your wife and kid they will always be there for you.
this world is a jungle and we are all on our own bud so kick them out of there and do what your familly needs not his,they are not your responsability.
he's lucky he's not in my house because i would have the music full blast at 7 am and i would put a lock on the fidge lol.
hope every thing works out for ya ,you derserve it bro. :D
swampy
06-02-2005, 03:41 AM
I agree with Buddy and Nooely" no loot get the boot", Prayers and good vibes coming your way its not easy but in the end everyone will feel better
My son comes first,he is my #1 resposibility,for over 10 yrs he has been under my wing,no one takes advantage of my good will as i will not let them.I know people who would do the same to me if i let it happen,I always help if i can,but i draw a line.If i were homeless right now,I would seek help and shelter from a goverment source,as i have paid taxes for these programs,now i would not ask to stay even with my family or friends,I would never make myself a burden on someone else's family,I want to keep my friends and family and earn their respect and love,like a post stated earlier do not let them pull you down and your loved one's,if this is a true friend he would not let your children suffer.peace and overstanding,sincerly E.J ps. or you.
anonymous
06-02-2005, 02:39 PM
you people are so wonderfull thank you for all the kind words and the u2u's im passing on any help because i really think this will be o.k. but i really do thank each and everyone of you these kind words and excellent advise have helped ease my mind so much i still need to talk to them on this matter but that will happen soon real soon..!!
pflover
06-02-2005, 03:01 PM
:) good luck!
Hi anonymous,What you are going to do is just be assertive,To express your feelings in a good way and the sooner the better,as it will cause you depression and angry ugly feelings,I found it to help by letting the other person know hey it is nothing personal but it is not working out,How long have you been patient?now it is time for a change,that you and your family need time alone.hope it all works out.peace sincerly E.J
Unicorn
06-02-2005, 06:27 PM
Never like to hear we are losing someone regardless how short or long the time is...be well...stay in touch...Hugs Uni ;)
anonymous
06-03-2005, 10:43 AM
Well to make things a lil easier my wife stated that she should go and talk to his wife and let them know what going on without me and the other guy so that no arguing occours well she let her know that they are now 450.00 behind and that we really need this money and of course all thet can give us is 150.00 and that they have no money saved up to move man this sucks more and more each day for some reason i cant bring myself to tell them to get out i want to dont get me wrong but they have kids also and to see them have to go to a shelter would just kill me but then what ??? sometimes i just wish i had the guidance to do whats right and make them see it also the living conditions arent too bad but still i want my home back as i am sure they want a home ...o please someone just shoot me would make this so much easier ....
green girl
06-03-2005, 10:50 AM
No shooting allowed! If you didn't have a hard time making a tough decision you wouldn't be who you are anon, and your friend and his family wouldn't even be there at all. BUT as hard as it is, you get to decide what is right for you and your family. I hope you can resolve the situation soon!
anonymous
06-03-2005, 11:09 AM
Thank GG me too this is literally driving me crazy why cant i just open my big mouth?????
Buffalo Bill
06-03-2005, 11:31 AM
All I can say is best of luck! Let your conscience be your guide... I was in a similar situation once and let my friend continue to stay without paying me the rent, despite the fact that I was falling behind in my mortgage payments. I ended up losing that townhouse due to back payments. I'll never make that mistake again. My friend never did get it! Needless to say, we haven't seen each other in over 15 years....
anonymous
06-03-2005, 02:07 PM
This is what i dont understand this guy has got me befor not for so much money but yet still money i didnt have a family then but he did.....anyways i let it go and we kept in touch i bought a pos car from him for 300 bucks and didnt miss a beat on payments why cant he see that im that 1 friend he has that cares i was there for him for everything esp when his mom and father died and then alot of his family turned on him i was the one that stuck by his side i mean dont get me wrong he has helped me here and there but this has gone to far to long and ive have yet to set aside my own feelings and tell him how i really feel ......
14u24me
06-04-2005, 12:05 AM
Yes you are in a very tough situation. My wife and I have been their 2 times before and didn't learn from the first time. I had to also kick my best friend out of my house and it wasn't easy and he didn't talk to me for about 6 months He called and sked if he could stop by and talk to me. He came over and we talked for atlest 3 hours and when the conversation was all said and done he said that by me kicking him out was the best thing that I could have done. It made him realize that he had a lot of soul searching to do and that he needed to get out and make something of his life. Which he did and he is now divorced and a single dad with 2 great kids and he owns a house all the toys and a great job. So hang in there brother it will all work out but the biggest thing is be honest with him. Isn;t that the least that you would want from anyone. Your in our prayers and like I said it will all work out. Yes you need to talk to him and let him know where your at and that he has 2 weeks to either find a job or that he needs to find another place to live. 2 weeks is adaquit for anyone to find a job and make a move towards something different.
14u24me
jonlovesthai
06-04-2005, 12:20 AM
Are you really going to let your family suffer so that you can help a friend? Sorry to sound harsh but my wife and daughter come first! You might offer to let his kids stay while the two adults go to a shelter, if you want to play "babysitter"! :mad:
anonymous
06-16-2005, 09:20 AM
sorry folks ive been down in the dumps on trying to figure this out im sorry jon i see this just a lil different i am lookin after the kids well being not the adults and no im not picking them over my family of course not im just trying to help others out that are in need but anywayssssss....we finally had to get them motivated we told them they have two weeks to get up and out now this was the last thing we wanted to do but hey enough is enough well wouldnt you know it they have like 9 of 14 days left and he finally got a job but then yesterday his wife wrecks there only reliable car she and the kids are o.k. and the car too but boy is it ugly ....well im just wondering do i give em an extension to stay another week or two (if they pay us) or do i keep it as it sits....??? im thinkging i just need to let them move on what do you guys think?
hummmm maybe i should ask Stinky he is such a wise lil beaver..!! :)
buddyh
06-16-2005, 09:37 AM
Leave it as it is.
If you give in, you'll probably be surprised at how many opportunities they give you to feel sorry for them.
Humans are great at sabotoging (sp?) themselves.
Believe me, I know, I'm a master at it.
:D
anonymous
06-16-2005, 09:59 AM
sabotaging i do believe ????
slater
06-16-2005, 10:06 AM
wb anon...wouldnt be the same w/o you :D
coco_artist
06-16-2005, 10:07 AM
An idea...take it or leave it....pitch a tent in your backyard for them...that way they have shelter and you have your house back. They might not like it, but beggars cannot be choosers.
nancerella
06-17-2005, 09:36 AM
Kick his ass to the curb. He needs to take responsibility for his family, and you for yours. I hate to sound harsh, but that's the way it is. He is using you, and that's NOT being a friend. Been there, done that. Time to take your life back and turn the WELCOME mat over.
The way it is IS. (The EST training) The way it ain't ain't.
The way it is is, this ain't working!
anonymous
06-17-2005, 09:46 AM
Thanks everyone for your input it all really does mean alot to me well today is his payday and the agreement is that they will give us at least half of what they owe us today and the other next friday but to be honest im not holding my breath because of this latest accident he now needs a rim on the car and this i can understand but im sorry your home is more important and if they dont give us the half of the rent today they are gone today no ifs and or butts ive put my foot down (Finally) and im not lifting it i cant i dont see that it would help anyone espcially us....i dont think anyone's advise was to harsh i really do thank you all because w/o your inputs i think i would still be stumped and letting them run over me ........
Stray
06-17-2005, 10:11 AM
A used rim at a wrecker is no more than $20...
Don't cave... You have to stand up & make them accountable...
Stray...
reddiet
06-17-2005, 10:27 AM
Hope you're alright anon,
Better lay low on your grow for awhile, after they leave. We already have seen what happened to Woodie. All those emotions must have you exhausted.
RED
Olde Hippee
06-17-2005, 10:51 AM
It's very nice to help people, but when they won't help themselves and just want handouts, that's a whole different situation. One never knows someone til they live with them, and you've gotten an eyefull of what this old friend is really like. Get them out, they aren't your responsibility. Your responsibility is to YOUR family, and they are suffering now. What good will it do for your friend for you to lose your home??
No one likes confrontation, but you need to bite the bullet here and get these ingrates out of your house and hair. Some people are just moochers, leeches, and ne'er do wells, and these guys sound like they've got the game down pat. This isn't a friend, it may have been at one time. No friend takes advantage of a generous situation like this. A friend gets their butt outta bed and tries to chip in in some way to get themselves on their feet.
Am I harsh? No harsher then having your family in crisis due to your good nature.
Bite the bullet and throw them out and don't let them guilt trip you into recanting the order to leave. You can do it, you MUST do it.
Olde Hippee
anonymous
06-17-2005, 10:52 AM
A used rim at a wrecker is no more than $20...
Don't cave... You have to stand up & make them accountable...
Stray...
75.00 usd the cheapsest one i have found so far but thats for the mag wheel like the ones that are on it but this makes know differnce to me anymore because if they dont pay today they dont stay tonight PERIOD..... :eek:
kids or no kids im sorry but i have a 3 yr old and a wife is they really a difference? im sorry folks im builing up courage because to be honest im kinda hoping they dont pay because then they are gone today ...... :D
anonymous
06-17-2005, 10:55 AM
Sorry OH you and i were typing at the same time but yes your SO RIGHT..!!
if not today next Friday is there last day regarless.....
Stray
06-17-2005, 07:41 PM
A rim is a rim... Beggers can't be choosers...
If they have $ problems - they can sell the rims & mags...
Put plain janes on... Jeeze...... *Shaking head...*
Check out the pick-n-pull yards... Rims go cheap there...
You need to walk the yard to find a match & might even have a
good a tire on it for $20... Or even a set of plain janes cheap...
However, this tells me a whole lot about these people...
They like all the toys but are not responsible enough to work to pay
for them... Not good... Really bad behavior to teach their kids...
There is welfare & subsidized housing - but thats if they are willing
to work for it & get or their arses...
Man - people like that make me so angry... The use everyone around
them & when there is nothing left they leach off another victim...
Stray...
anonymous
06-17-2005, 09:15 PM
you said it Stray i know these things thats why this has to stop NOW.....
anonymous
06-17-2005, 09:18 PM
oops well actually im hoing to have them gone tonight (if they dont have the rent ..)if so they got one more week then regardless its there last day and im counting down its really sad when you have to give up money just to see people go ......well hopefully this will be all over in the next hour or two.....
ill let you all know tonight or in the morning how it goes.....
anonymous
06-17-2005, 11:51 PM
well no money so out they go i hated it its so hard to have to tell someone to flat out leave but i felt i really didnt have a choice but now i find this really sucks because they gave us no money now we are even further behind on rent why me ??????
soaring2high
06-18-2005, 12:44 AM
I'm sorry!
Does that help any?
Sometimes you just need to vent, thanks for sharing!
Stray
06-18-2005, 08:05 AM
I just hope they don't leave holes in your walls when they go to leave.
Be careful...
Stray...
anonymous
06-18-2005, 09:35 AM
soaring2highyes it does thank you so kindly Stray the mood im in they he them would go strait to jail and if this room is trashed im making him pay for the cleaning
Well i just got off the phone with the land lord and she is not happy she wants all the rent by July 3rd well even if we gave her all the checks we would still be short and not only that what am i going to do for electric company they want there money too and i just dont have it why is it that every time I think things are looking up i get nailed again and this really sucks because these people were SUPPOSED to be my friends now i go thru life wondering do i really have any true friends .......
Joshua
06-18-2005, 10:12 AM
Anon,
You do have true friends, they are right here. it is such a shame so many of us don't have true friends where we live, but we do have true friends here online. I wish we were not in the same boat or I'd do everything I could to help you. Unfortunatly, I've been in and out of the hospital a few times in the last month (lucky me I got new things to be sick with) And now we are even further behind then we were.
I do know this, you are a good person. Something will happen to save your home. I don't know what, I just know something will happen and things will get better again.
Joshua
Anon i'm very sorry for that i realy know how you must feel cause i'm having some major dificulties to pay my bils to and where are the friends now? when i was working and have no problems with money some of them were always around,now that i'm in need where are they now? not even a call or an email to know how i'm doing.So my friend i truly understand you and i'm sorry i can't help other way than send you some good vibes.
Peace.
leo
anonymous
06-18-2005, 01:01 PM
Thanks Josh and Leo you both are shining examples of why TY is my home
Well i think i officialy lost it i cant do anything but sit here and cry and wonder why someone i thought was a true friend would do this to me do this ass even give a shit about my feeling what a ferkin asshole sorry everyone this hurts so bad ive never had this feeling and just know im fixing to go crazy someone please shoot me i cant take this anymore i give up IM DONE......
sedative ocean
06-18-2005, 02:23 PM
Sometimes the right thing to do is the hardest.
Remember when you stand up to adversity you actually have people who care standing behind you. I agree whole heartedly with Stray.
You are doing the right thing for YOUR family.
I am sending lots of positive thoughts your way. Take care my friend.
peace
Joshua
06-18-2005, 06:30 PM
anon,
this wouldn't hurt if you weren't such a caring person, people that care feel pain from things like this. Unfortunatly your "friend" has no clue about caring or he would have never put you in this situation. You have to cull the freeloaders/freebie seekers, trust me I know. I had to do the same thing to someone I considered a dear freind not long back because of things being done that I couldn't allow to happen. Of course now I'm "the bad guy" in thier eyes, but thats ok, I did what was right and I know it in my heart. You have to do the same, be strong and hope they learn from this, they are losing a great friend, you are only losing a user.
Joshua
nancerella
06-18-2005, 06:48 PM
I'm glad to hear that you told them to leave. Take a deep breath and hug your family.
You're feeling the loss of a friendship that you wish you had, but never really did. Smile and move on.
Stray
06-20-2005, 03:45 AM
I helped a guy move 2 times... The 3rd I had to walk away...
I put my neck out & even fought his landlord in court for him...
I bought him a pair of glasses so he could see properly cause his were broke...
I put $ towards a months rent cause he said he had his wallet stolen...
All of what he said were BS stories...
On his last move, I put his stuff at my place to store it - some of
it had to sit under a tarp outside... Again sticking my neck out...
I got an eviction notice & had to get rid of the stuff...
& since he wasn't around to claim his stuff I had no choice but to
give the stuff that was sitting outside away...
4 years later I still haven't heard from him...
I sold the aquariums he had me storing and got back $300 out of the
$1500 that I helped him out with... It sucks when people are users...
Just know that it isn't your fault that this happened & you don't need
to feel bad for them... They are the ones at fault for their own behaviors...
They took advantage of your good nature and of the situation...
They own their behavior, actions and are responsible for themselves...
They are sole proprietor of their lives... They chose it...
Stray...
anonymous
06-20-2005, 08:46 AM
That sucks stray so sad that people have to use others to step up or to make them selfs wealthy...
Well so far so good nice and quiet just still sad because i trully thought this guy was a friend....well i guess i am blind or dumb i havent decided yet??? maybe a lil of both??
Merlin
06-20-2005, 10:39 AM
Keep your chin up...Life can be crazy at times... ;)
anonymous
06-20-2005, 10:57 AM
Thanks Merlin Sorry i had to bail in our chat last night the wife was calling for bed....you know how that goes..!! :)
anonymous
07-01-2005, 08:39 AM
Well the wraths of them leaving us like this has finally came out last night the electric company finally turned off our electric :(
I just dont get this we have a baby they know we were trying to get caught up do they care of course not why would they ? im so thinking of telling my wife and son to go live with her mom and ill just have to stay on the streets for now or in this HOT ass house yesterday it was 98 today its supposed to get to 100F what am i to do ive tried to get assitance but most say they dont have the funds or either that sense my wife works they just wont do it and come to find out the roomies had not paid the water bill when the wife and i was away for a few days and then they turned off our water (electric company) well the roomies decided to keeep our money that was for the water and went and did who knows what with it and when they turned off our water they (roomies) went and turned it back on ...Illegal..well of course the wife and i didnt know this and when they come to "check the meter's" They seen ours on illegal and now instead of a $700.00 electric it jumped to almost $1,400.00 bucks mind you water and electrivc are tied together where im from and so now sense we didnt know this (and theres nothing they can do (electric and water company))we tried a payment plan but they want all the money :( well my neighbor let me run a cord at least so i can run the fridge (and the puter ) but this is only for a few days Well sorry folks to keep dwelling on this i just really reallt dont know what to do now ??????? im all out of resources now ........
coco_artist
07-01-2005, 08:48 AM
It sounds as if you are experiencing problems from your choice in friends and room mates.
I'm very sorry for you anon,we had the same problem once but they let us pay the bill in 6 monthly payments.Don't you have anysocial services where you can askfor some help? with the baby and all ?....
Hope everything turns out ok
Peace.
Leo
coco_artist
07-01-2005, 08:52 AM
Do you have a Salvation Army where you are? You can call them for help. If not, there must be other charitable resources you can at least try, although I know that money is scarce everywhere these days and no shortage of people that want to part you from it.
U4Euh
07-01-2005, 09:28 AM
Wow,,you learned a hard lesson.I have done the same as you my friend.You have to digest it and place next to your heart.You have to enjoy,cherish and Love but that ugly hurt is always right next to it (polarity?).It's called reality by big folks :( .You simply go on with this knowledge.I know it hurts but you will only go up from here.There is no such thing as a true friend."D.E.T.A",,Don't Ever Trust Anyone.Your mooch buddy almost sunk your family and now do you think another person can do that in the future? "pull the wool" so to speak on you? Hell No!!,,so you see,, you are now armed with information.It wont happen again.Like I said it will only get better from here.I had to separate myself from "friends" and family,and because of that,, what I save gets reinvested in the future.We are now doing BETTER than all the users/losers that we cut out of our lives.Get your blinders on and wade on thru the junk.Tomorrow will get better.You've done the right thing,what I did was take ANY left over money (it will happen eventually) and buy things that are worth twice or more what I paid for them.I noticed that you mentioned a mag rim,.In my example I started selling old car parts,,,then I bought old cars and parted them out.Stop watching TV,or anything thats designed to distract you!,,Get out there and buy and sell what you like or love or have interest in.I found ebay and that really helps.Your work will be rewarded and will grow.Then in 5 years you will be amazed at the prosperity.It is not a Sin to be Poor,,,It is a Sin to STAY poor.Peace and Love for you and your Family in all that you do and all that you do in the future.
anonymous
07-01-2005, 12:34 PM
Thanks Everyone we are on the phone trying everything we had a friend out of state who was just going to put it in there name buttttt she backed out because of her husband .....i guess i understand i dont know what else to do the payment arangements were made on a previous bill mind this was almost paid off too untill this so now they want all the money
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