Slave To Pain!

[darnpj]

Oha TY,

As a member of TY for long enough to remember alot of things BOTH good and bad! I have had somethings in my life make me think exactly what this idea of modern medicine that SSSSOOO many docs nowadays have at thier beckon call but refuse to use it! I was in the 9/11 debacal and i had my legs turned into mensemeat and am now a product of this very modern medicine.
I have Bi-Latteral Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy in both lower limbs and have been a product of mod. meds. since Sept11 and have an average intake of pain meds that would lay waste to 6 normal non injured peps and NOW after iam at the level of complete control of SOME of my pain they hammer me with the letter that says NO MORE! SUE US! Now i have been to over 15 different doctors of various notorious and other specialities and all say nope hes done never again will he be the man he was and could have continued to be if not for this problem but to WAR I go and i will win!!!!!
But 360 MGS of Oxycotin /120 Mgs of oxycodone R/ 30MGS ofValium/Amiltripaline/ Pills of all shapes and sizes/ And well over $2,000.00 a month for the generic except the 80mg Oxycotin. And now iam shaking and having HOT flashes and feeling like my backbone is going to kiss my belly button. And i cant pay that kind of money to the pharmacy and i just cant do it. And i must say iam a Slave To This Pain!
It has taken my manhood away from me and it has sapped my strength and vigor like a tick on a big ass dog. My head bangs like a drum and my back is under the gun at all times. And i have been trying shake away this burden and iam having a hard time doing it alone. so my friends PLEASE DO Bear With ME. I want and need to take a sweat and pray for the innner strength that my animal brother can give me.I have been under this spell for too long and iam sick of it. All i hope can at least understand from the pain view point.
I use to put over 10K on my bikes every year and i have yet to ride since the accident except once and I almost got nailed by an idiot. I am only here once and i have always been tough as nails and proud of it and now im just a pile of pain. I dont now what to do to try to help with the pain and loss of meds as iam out and have been for over a week.I have faith and i have my beliefs in what my motherearth has shown me and its not enough at the moment iam done in. As my forfathers did and showed the youngones like myself you can ignore pain! But it takes away from your inner being it turns hair grey and makes fat out of muscle. iam unable to walk for more than 50ft without falling down AGAIN slave to the pain.
I want to thank all my brothers andf sisters of TY for the writing of what this has done to them and thier loved ones with the sharing of hope and caring this site is a place where you can get the mental back-up needed. Thank You All. I will end this withan old prayer from my Gfather and his wisdom of an entire spirit world.
Endless Day
I rise to feel that pinch, and shake my fist at its awful face
I make use of what motherearth has given to me, I will see the next day
More of the same for i feel like a shadow on the wall, I will pray again
Today its no better and i begin to believe that today is the yesterday
And the day before is the same at that time i realize, It is the same
This day will never end until i am ready to make it gone, Again I pray
And after 5 year i see its actually
AN ENDLESS DAY!!! washta
DARNPJ

[micah]

i pray to the almighty creator..to give you strength to deal with your pain throughout the days and months ahead..micah

[Lucy]

((((((( darnpj))))))sending good energy your way

[coco_artist]

(((((darnpj)))))

[dykster]

Hey Darnpj,
I use to ride a lot also. Now, I just have a general lack of any strength or money to have a bike again. Those days are gone along with a lot of other things. I wish you the best, hope you can find some meds brother.

[Chief]

I hear ya.

At one time I was taking a similar amount of pain pills and anti depressants to get thru the day. I now take a lesser amount of oxycontin and a larger amount of weed. I'm off the anti-d's all together. I figured either I'd kill someone or myself if I took them much longer.

I feel worse than I ever have. the oxy's don't do much except to keep the withdrawls away, and I'm in excruciating pain 24/7 as well. I don't know what to do or what to say to my pain specialist, as I've been thru 9 operations and countless injections into my spine. today was a very bad day and I spent most of it in bed. I have no idea what I'll do for the rest of my life, it's been 6 years now that I've taken a myriad of drugs to relieve the pain, with no end in sight. Now, I'm not only in constant pain, but my dr. has made me a drug addict as well. i wouldn't dare fail to take my daily doseage, I did once and was too sick to move. I can't live this way for another 20 or 30 years, and at 48 yrs old and basically crippled with pain, I have no answers to how I'm going to survive with it the rest of my life.

I've added a few cartoons to the mag's next issue dealing with just what we are going thru, and while it doesn't help my pain any, at least it lets me laugh for a few minutes while I draw them. And that's my only relief.

best of luck to you, i hope something comes up where you can get yourself off the vicious cycle of pain and pain pills, and doctors can properly treat you instead of doing like what they've also done to me, shut me up with oxycontin and left me in the corner to suffer. I feel for your situation, and it's too bad that we arent' the only ones. I know many people who go thru the same thing daily.

all the best;