Simple Nature
01-12-2007, 05:31 PM
I am posting this in honor of a good friend who almost killed himself yesterday doing something stupid. He thinks this is funny so thought you all might too.
1. Work thou not on energized equipment for if thou doest so, thy friends will surely be buying beers for thy widow and consoling her in certain ways not generally acceptable to thee.
2. Tarry thou not amongst these fools that engage in intentional shocks for they are not long for this world and are surely unbelievers.
3. Prove to thyself that all circuits that radiateth and upon which thee worketh are grounded and thusly tagged lest they lift thee to a radio frequency potential and causeth thee to make like a radiator too.
4. Take care thou tamperest not with interlocks and safety devices for this incurreth the wrath of the chief electrician and bringeth the fury of the engineers on his head.
5. Trifle thee not with radioactive tubes and substances lest thou commence to glow in the dark like a lightning bug and thy wife be frustrated and have no further use for thee except for thy wages.
6. Verily, verily I say unto thee never service equipment alone for electrical cooking is a slow process and thou might sizzle in thine own fat on a hot circuit for hours on end before thy maker sees fit to end thy misery and drag thee into his fold.
7. Cause thou the switch that supplieth large quanities of juice to be opened and thusly tagged that thy days may be long in this earthly vale of tears.
8. Beware of the lightening that lurketh in an uncharged condenser lest it cause thee to bounce upon thy buttocks on a most embarrassing manner.
9. Take care thou useth the proper method when thou takest the measures of high voltage circuits so that thou doest not incinerate both thee and thy test meter for verily though thou hast no company property number and can be easily replaced, the test meter has one and as a consequence bringeth much woe unto a purchasing agent.
10. Commit thou to memory all the words of the prophets which are written down in thy Bible which is the National Electrical Code and and giveth out with the straight dope and consoleth thee when thou hast suffered a ream job by the chief electrician.
1. Work thou not on energized equipment for if thou doest so, thy friends will surely be buying beers for thy widow and consoling her in certain ways not generally acceptable to thee.
2. Tarry thou not amongst these fools that engage in intentional shocks for they are not long for this world and are surely unbelievers.
3. Prove to thyself that all circuits that radiateth and upon which thee worketh are grounded and thusly tagged lest they lift thee to a radio frequency potential and causeth thee to make like a radiator too.
4. Take care thou tamperest not with interlocks and safety devices for this incurreth the wrath of the chief electrician and bringeth the fury of the engineers on his head.
5. Trifle thee not with radioactive tubes and substances lest thou commence to glow in the dark like a lightning bug and thy wife be frustrated and have no further use for thee except for thy wages.
6. Verily, verily I say unto thee never service equipment alone for electrical cooking is a slow process and thou might sizzle in thine own fat on a hot circuit for hours on end before thy maker sees fit to end thy misery and drag thee into his fold.
7. Cause thou the switch that supplieth large quanities of juice to be opened and thusly tagged that thy days may be long in this earthly vale of tears.
8. Beware of the lightening that lurketh in an uncharged condenser lest it cause thee to bounce upon thy buttocks on a most embarrassing manner.
9. Take care thou useth the proper method when thou takest the measures of high voltage circuits so that thou doest not incinerate both thee and thy test meter for verily though thou hast no company property number and can be easily replaced, the test meter has one and as a consequence bringeth much woe unto a purchasing agent.
10. Commit thou to memory all the words of the prophets which are written down in thy Bible which is the National Electrical Code and and giveth out with the straight dope and consoleth thee when thou hast suffered a ream job by the chief electrician.