Does this happen to you?

[dank.Frank]

I am just curious, as I seem to find myself in this predicament a lot, so I am curious if others find themselves at similar odds...

First of all, I am 6'0 at 185lbs and only 12% body fat. By all means an above average and in mosts opinion, quite pleasing to the eye. I am a graduate of a private college and work a job that requires a suit and tie daily. I tend to be more the hopeless romantic type; truly enjoying the various acts of pampering, giving and emotional intimacy. Albeit it financially secure, I also supplement my income, though I just consider this to be spending money, by doing various things that I find to be personally rewarding. For example, I teach ESL classes (English as a second language) to young Korean kids that enroll / qualify for a gifted program. I build high end desktop computers at discounted rates for friends looking to purchase such rigs. This also means I have enough knowledge that my own residence stays in the top tier of technology and there is never a computer issue that goes unfixed. I am a borderline neat freak...not to the degree that it is neurotic, but in the sense that I straighten my house daily and never go to sleep with things being in disarray. I am not the most mechanically inclined person, but if there is a repair that needs done, I have no quarrel with tackling the problem and figuring it out...even if it means buying books and educating myself before hand. I am a fantastic cook and simply love being in the kitchen. Many times I hear from people that a dish I prepared was the best version of it or most unique they have ever had. I do laundry; I always iron everything before wearing it. So in all rights, I do most things by nature of who I am, that 90% of other men either can not do or are unwilling to do.

All these qualities I think are good things....as do many of the women I date. In fact, many women tend to fall for me very quickly and think I am "the one"....until I eventually divulge my other business. I am a MMJ caregiver, that only accepts patients who are disabled or on SSI, and supply them with medicine for zero cost. This seems to be an instant nail in the coffin for everyone I have ever truly considered worth my time. Perhaps it is because of the fact I keep it a secret for so long, basically until I feel I can trust a person... but a bigger part of me feels it is because of the negative stigma that is placed on cannabis and those who have anything to do with it. It seems that this knowledge instantly takes me from knight in shinning armor to drug dealing scum gutter trash. It has become so utterly frustrating, that I have actually given up dating altogether and for the past year have opted for a more hermit lifestyle; Not even going out on one single date or even a casual drink. I tend to attract a more upscale / "blue-blood" / aristocratic type of woman and I find myself drawn to this as well...and I suppose, that is in part why these women become so disconnected upon learning about, what is really, my favorite hobby.
I could in all reality, NEVER disclose this tidbit and things could continue to flourish. At some point though, it becomes important, if not necessary, to share the entirety of my being and that includes being a compassionate caregiver.

Does anyone else find there involvement in cannabis preventing them from finding a partner? If so, I'd love to hear your spiel and what you have done to overcome this obstacle....


dank.Frank

[Cannahope]

Yes Frank, this is a real debilitating issue. I have a world view that is very important to me, and feel a connection in this particular area is critical for any long term relationship. Unfortunately, my medical use of Cannabis is something that most people sharing my particular world view would find abhorrent. They can like me as a person, but if they found out I smoked a hit of bubble hash once or twice a day, I would be a different person in their eyes. It's not something you can keep secret in a relationship without negative side effects. It's deceptive if not outright dishonest.

I don't have a solution yet. Your situation actually seems easier than mine, since you can pursue non-blue-blood type women at your discretion without compromising your beliefs. Have you tried that approach? Seek a 420-friendly woman that's successful, honest, respectful, loving, caring, considerate, etc? Perhaps that's one reason for posting here?

My only hope at this point is that the laws will change and remove the legal and social stigma associated with Cannabis as medicine. Either that or build a friendship with a woman so the trust, etc. is there, and when she feels she can't possibly live without me, discreetly and thoughtfully address the Cannabis issue. "I am the person you love in part because of this medicine...it allows me to be who I am to the fullest".

[rocket_science]

Hey Dank Frank,
I sympathise with you! I'm lucky enough to have fond a partner who fuly supports my work (the same as yours).

At the moment I am travelling and the way I meet new people is through a website where I very openly state that it is my mission "to become part of the medical cannabis revolution in Toronto".

This really open and up front approach has seen me very well. People that do not agree with med cannabis stay far away, and most and many people want to find out more, or have a story to tell about a friend who it has helped.

I, like you cook, clean and take good care of myself, technology and the community. I do not iron everyday though!

Coming to Canada from Australia, I have found much greater acceptance here outside of my peer group (I'm probably younger than most here). I smell cannabis on the streets regularly, and no-one bats an eyelid (on the streets of Toronto - GTA)

Admittedly, I've always been popular with the ladies - and it sounds like you are too! It took me ages to find the right one, but I have uncompromising standards and am always upfront. It sounds like you are a bit afraid that if you are upfront, then you not find these classy women you like - but my one piece of advice is just be open! I'm assuming you have a licence, and locks on your doors. Come out of the Cannabis Closet!

Keep well,
RS.

[dank.Frank]

"I am the person you love in part because of this medicine...it allows me to be who I am to the fullest".

This approach, did in fact yield me the same result I speak of. I think of one particular scenario specifically, where that was my exact explanation. I even went as far as to not medicate for this one and it was made quite quite clear that I was in fact more pleasant to be around and seemed more in tune with myself when medicating. However, rather than realizing this as truth and coming to the conclusion that cannabis was something I did in fact need, it was treated as if I had some how intentionally sabotaged the event, and resulted in me being criminalized and pointedly called a drug addict. I proceeded to divulge more intimate details about myself -

I medicate for multiple reasons, one of which is permanent nerve damage and the other being fibromyalgia. For anyone familiar, fibro manifests itself in an array of symptoms, but for myself most notedly depression, anxiety, insomnia, irritability and random numbness. Combine that with nerve damage pains that are heightened and intensified to extreme degrees by increased stress levels, which are in part a direct result of the constant anxiety and insomnia from the fibro symptoms. In all fairness, I'm sure I really was an unpleasant person to be around.

Which really brought things full circle to, see, I am the person you like and enjoy because of my medication. But no...you could go to a doctor and get something else. I went to the doctor and got what I am using. I don't like it...get something else. I see no reason to take 5 different pills and then 2 more pills because I am taking so many pills (????), when I can simply take one substance and fix everything. NO...I don't like it...

LOL...oh, the all too familiar routine...needless to say, I am still single... HAHAHA....


Perhaps that's one reason for posting here?



It sounds like you are a bit afraid that if you are upfront, then you not find these classy women you like - but my one piece of advice is just be open!
RS.

Well, I posted this here because I did in fact recently (within the past two weeks) have a person of interest that I was talking with. I decided to take a new approach, the opposite approach, which is, before you decide you are interested in me, there is something I think you should know...

This unfortunately somehow lead to the uncomfortable question, "Well, where do you get it from."

ummmm....ahhhhhh....WELLLLL...you see, ACTUALLY...

NO...I don't like that.

LOL...Did I mention I was still single...hahahaha!!!



dank.Frank

[Cannahope]

I hear ya Frank. That's why I think pursuing women that are specifically 420 friendly may be the answer, as long as everything else lines up. At least with that as a foundation everything else should be pretty standard and straightforward. The problem is, the lovely ladies are probably just as reticent as us to divulge such personal and potentially harmful information. Ho hum...

[Kathy]

Trust is difficult in the best of relationships especially at my age when there's a lot of water under the bridge. But if you add prohibition and the stresses that brings us, all the fear and secrecy, then we have even greater difficulties with trust. There is no easy answer to living in a world that most other people don't live in and finding compatibility, acceptance and excitement. Medusers are often pretty sick or debilitated and that limits us as individuals. It gives us very tough choices to make.

But I say, find a community member and cuddle up. There are a lot of things that are easier if we are with one another. Outside people might think my license makes me real exotic at first then they find out I'm
real ordinary they don't like me as much. It was a big sigh of relief i felt when i met other medusers.

I find that straddling these worlds is like having a foot in 2 canoes and I often lose my balance. I'd rather stay with my people at this stage of life as battles aren't much fun anymore. There's lots of fun to be had in better ways, so i don't want to waste my time battling ignorance.

In my experience most medusers or knowledgeable people have a better attitude towards alcohol. I find that excessive drinking is one of the most prevalent problems I see among my peers. Many medusers I know don't use alcohol, so that's a big plus right from the outset.

[Marco Renda]

May I suggest going to some cannabis related events and get to know some folks.

I know first hand what you are going through and I was lucky enough to find an independant and educated lady with whom I am engaged to.

My first wife was understanding at first but when I became a FULL TIME activist things started going downhill then 1 day coming home from grocery shopping I find her taking all her clothing and then stated to me that she was leaving. I was hurt and angry for some time and then said SCREW HER it's HER LOSS and started looking again. So..... DON'T GIVE UP there is someone out there for you

Take Care and Peace
Marco

[Lacy]

Trust is difficult in the best of relationships especially at my age when there's a lot of water under the bridge. But if you add prohibition and the stresses that brings us, all the fear and secrecy, then we have even greater difficulties with trust. There is no easy answer to living in a world that most other people don't live in and finding compatibility, acceptance and excitement. Medusers are often pretty sick or debilitated and that limits us as individuals. It gives us very tough choices to make.

But I say, find a community member and cuddle up. There are a lot of things that are easier if we are with one another. Outside people might think my license makes me real exotic at first then they find out I'm
real ordinary they don't like me as much. It was a big sigh of relief i felt when i met other medusers.

I find that straddling these worlds is like having a foot in 2 canoes and I often lose my balance. I'd rather stay with my people at this stage of life as battles aren't much fun anymore. There's lots of fun to be had in better ways, so i don't want to waste my time battling ignorance.

In my experience most medusers or knowledgeable people have a better attitude towards alcohol. I find that excessive drinking is one of the most prevalent problems I see among my peers. Many medusers I know don't use alcohol, so that's a big plus right from the outset.
What a great post. I'm married and not out to find love but this post caught my eye. I'm with what kathy and some others are saying here,.....find places to meet other 'like minded' individuals.
I'm a grower and provider myself and although i am not out looking for a partner i can so relate to this in just my own social circle. Being that i am not very social, I at first made the mistake of telling some family and friends about my desire to become legal. THIS in itself was a very bad mistake as I basically lost touch with my family due to it even though I have been a cannabis user for most of my life.
Its just a fact that most of society does not view its use the same as we do and unless these people educate themselves , there will be no understanding.
There is such a stigma attached to cannabis that stems from refer maddness and such that people are just scared of the unknown and only the drug dealer types stick in their minds. Like the 'Trailor Park Boys" or something. :rolleyes:

You are best off meeting people who already share your passion than trying to bring them into an area that most instinctively fear due to ignorance.

The way I look at it now is that it is THEIR LOSS not mine.
Dank Frank,.....just by reading your post alone it is clear that you have real integrity and a lot to offer. There are others who share the same dream as you but perhaps you are just expecting the average person to be more understanding.
In my experience,....they're not.

I've been married for 20 years and my man is totally cool with what I do and perhaps I take that for granted sometimes.

I wish you the best in your pursuit to find a like minded partner Frank.

[Miranda]

Trust is difficult in the best of relationships especially at my age when there's a lot of water under the bridge. But if you add prohibition and the stresses that brings us, all the fear and secrecy, then we have even greater difficulties with trust.

I find that straddling these worlds is like having a foot in 2 canoes and I often lose my balance..

Your imagery is right on Kathy - for years married to an occasional smoker (I was only one myself) but when my stroke & MS necessitated daily use for normalacy I became a 'drug addict'......this from someone I've known for 30 years as well as all the excess in law baggage yapping away, plus my doc of 23 years, and the list goes on and on.

I haven't changed my values - I've worked hard all my life, raised a beautiful daughter, run my own business, etc. etc...Mrs. Normal Suburbanite you could have said.

Damage to relationships of any kind definitely without any doubt whatsoever is one of the most damaging side effects of prohibition and why we all must try & educate as much as we can even if we feel like we're banging our heads against a wall most of the time ....every now and then you make a breakthrough.

[Kathy]

Living with medical cannabis became a career for me when I started to eat sleep and dream it. It is a way of life and true counterculture. We can make what we want to out of that. I like things this way because I feel a kinship that I otherwise miss and naturally gravitate to like-minded people. Because we have no real rules we have to conform to within, we can envision and live different and more satisfying ways of being. This is a real community if we decide to capitalize on that. Personally, I experience way more congruity in this community than other places and I don't have to be in those other places anymore, so this is what I've chosen.

Being with people I can be authentic with allows trust to develop more naturally. I get to live the way I always wanted because there are people who validate my experiences and ideas. Otherwise I just get bored or alienated.

I stole this idea from a friend who says that medusers have all the serious stuff to deal with and rec users have all the fun, and since medusers can't help but be recusers too, we get the best of both worlds. If all we have are those serious concerns and no one to laugh with then we are missing something. Being with medusers or cannabis activists allows me to have a richer experience of a broader range of emotions and ideas. There is the odd moment of sheer terror, but it passes.

It's kind of like all the cool stuff we loved about school or hockey without the exams or 6 am practices. Life is easier. Certain situations aren't of course, but all in all, life got better for me when i opted-in here.

I still get time-outs and detentions and penalties, but i like the environment.
I like the politics and the horticulture and the language and the legends and, most of all, the love of all of that.

[Cannahope]

I hear ya Frank. That's why I think pursuing women that are specifically 420 friendly may be the answer, as long as everything else lines up. At least with that as a foundation everything else should be pretty standard and straightforward. The problem is, the lovely ladies are probably just as reticent as us to divulge such personal and potentially harmful information. Ho hum...

I was just reading this thread again. I had to laugh...what was I thinking? Standard and straightforward? hahahhahah

[dank.Frank]

There are others who share the same dream as you but perhaps you are just expecting the average person to be more understanding.


I think perhaps that might be where my fantasy is in part an issue. I think it would simply be awesome to be involved with someone, and then come to find out that they too are a user/grower/activist.

I suppose I have never gone the route of trying to find a person that is KNOWN "420 friendly" because I don't necessarily like the concept of that aspect of my life being front page news. It isn't that I am embarrassed or afraid or even worried about the social repercussions...it really stems from the fact that I am a private person and kind of enjoy having a secret. Perhaps this sounds odd, but at the same time, I think over the years women have sensed this "removal" of something within me...and in a way, it adds to my personal mystique and I think this sensed unknown has actually attracted people to me in the past.

Perhaps, and honestly, I am too am plagued a bit by the media personification of what a "stoner" is and am worried if I seek out a person I know to be "420 friendly" that I will in fact find a person who embodies or justifies such an image. I know this sounds hypocritical, but at the same time, I can't honestly say I want this to be a foundational block of a relationship. While granted it is something that is monumentally important to who and what I am...it is also just a part of the whole. What I really seek is balance in all areas of life, and I feel I incorporate cannabis in my life in a manner that does not detract from the entirety of being.

I think when people suggest finding a like minded person...that person to me, is another person "hiding in plain sight". I know many times I have found myself amazed or baffled to find out that certain people are cannabis users...and I suppose I might be living in a bit of a fog, but I can not help but to think, that one of these days, I'm ironically enough going to stumble upon this person who also has a secret...(sound romantic, no?..hahaha)

While typing this, I do realize my own bigotry perhaps comes to light, and is painfully obvious even to myself. I think my honesty has been insightful to me...hahahaha...but it is very possible that the person I seek is simply "out of the closet", so to speak, for a single weekend at an event, desperately needing to emerge themselves in a friendly environment...

Interesting indeed....thank you for the replies people...I'm enjoying this throughly!


dank.Frank

[Cannahope]

Your thoughts ring true because it's basically the same for me, right down the line. I've had the 'secret user" fantasy recently about a very close girl friend. I touched on the subject of medical Cannabis, tested the waters. I'm still not sure, because you know how secret we tokers can be.

In personal ads when a gal says she's "420 friendly" I wonder about a person who would advertise potentially illegal activity as an a attraction. For me, it should be an attraction...it's one of the things I'm looking for in a relationship. But it defintely makes me stop and think. Even though it sounds hypocritical, for me it's mostly about safety. In a world where reefer madness wasn't manifest, it would never have to be an issue. It should be something that can remain private, even in a marriage. I don't need to know when she takes an aspirin. I don't need to know when she visits the WC. I don't need to know when she hits the pipe.

A word better than foundation might be cornerstone. A very key component but just one part of the whole package. I consider it key because it's so esoteric, and once that unique stone is laid all the rest can fall into place.

[browniekate]

I've been divorced for 5 yrs now....because of my "drug addiction" ...
that would be my medmj use. Even though I got permission by represnting
myself in court....signature from a doctor and my religious leader giving
the o.k.(yes,I go to church every week)....my dad,mom,brothers and some
others in this part of the world think I'm a drug addict for using the weed.
I used to write letters to the editor, and take part in more activist online
activities, but I am a school teacher substitute and my dad pointed out
I cannot afford to get fired which he thinks would happen if they my bosses
found out. My kids of course know that mom goes out to have a puff when
she needs to. I'lm completely honest and open with them. That's the best
way to be. Also, I'm a trained homebirth midwife, trained in ElPaso, Texas,
and San Diego, and Jamaica. Unfortunately, this does not mean I'm rich
at all, so if you're looking for a rich honey, keep looking!
It's such a thrill to be on this forum among like-minded souls,wow! My
dad accused me of "runing my life" with the stoner weed, I totally did not
agree....I told him it was the only thing that made my life liveable some
days, that if I had gotten the permissions, why can't I use it? I'm old enough.
It made me resolve to bring it up and argue it's case with evERYONE I meet.
To openly and honestly tell of my use and the benefits I have found.
I am a cute white girl, so I can get away with it.;)
best wishes to all from the new girl
browniekate

[Capt. Zigzag]

I've been divorced for 5 yrs now....because of my "drug addiction" ...

I can help you with that..... That whole divorced thing. Cuz I'm needin me a woman just like you. :o

Which leads me to the OP. Maybe it's time for a change of focus as far as choices go.

Want a go getter, well to do, woman? You're always gonna have a problem cuz pot scares them. If you want a woman who loves you even in failure. A pot smokin woman can't be beat.

Gets expensive though. :p


-

[Soleil]

This thread is intriguing and I appreciate the openness / honesty of it. It's making me think and look deeper within myself. I, too enjoy growing and smoking the herb. However, I haven't grown for several years due to a divorce and life circumstances. I have tried to promote getting "medical marijuana" on ballots (went out trying to get signatures, participated in a rally, talk about it openly among real life friends that are users, etc). I would like to promote it's use, medically, much more where I live, however, I can't come "completely" out of the closet due to employment issues.

As for me, I don't want a partner that doesn't enjoy (or need) the herb. I seldom smoke right now due to employment issues. If my state doesn't get it medically acceptable at least, I am strongly considering moving to a state that does. I get so frustrated with closed minded people who don't / won't accept our medicine of choice. This beautiful medicine that is created by a seed.

On the rarity of a "date"; one of the first things I inquire about face-to-face is ... "so how do you feel about cannabis? Do you think it should be made legal and do you think it is good medicine?" you know something along the lines (playing the confused dumb one - trying to feel them out first without revealing how strongly I feel about it). If we aren't on similar ground, a second date never happens. That's just me. Get it out there in the beginning. Why waste time on something that isn't what you really want and/or need?

Just my two cents. Again, thanks for the openness and honesty of this thread and good luck in your search.

[dank.Frank]

I agree in the concept that you do avoid a potential waste of time by getting it out there, so to speak, right from the very beginning...

At the same time, I feel doing what I do, it is unintelligent to even make an association of any type at all pertaining to cannabis. I mean, if on a first date with 10 different women, you ask questions regarding to cannabis, you have just indicated to 10 strangers that it is an important enough topic / issue to you, that it is addressed in a "get to know you" type of date. Now, I would be uncomfortable having just given that impression to 10 strangers...leaving them with an direct connection between myself and cannabis....

Safety being my primary concern, I CAN'T accept that scenario as "safe". So, I suppose, I chose to only hint at such a thing when I feel it appropriate to do so...which of course, is different with every single person you meet...

Thanks to all those that are keeping this "real" and making it useful and interesting!!


dank.Frank

[Kathy]

Except in a few rare instances, I have found it much more comfortable to be with other medusers. Usually we know who we are before getting involved, so these problems don't occur. But no matter what, problems will develop around mj use simply because it's illegal for everyone else.Also, most medusers are sick people and it's not always possible to make the best of what we have.

[Cannahope]

dank.Frank, again, I don't have to say much because your situation parallels mine. Safety is the issue. Recently on Craigslist there was a fairly harmless post by a female my age looking for a man that's 420 friendly to spend time together with and do fun things. My mind goes through all of the scenarios and weighs the risk. I always stumble when I consider that it could be some detective looking for an easy bust. Around here if you get busted they try to convince you to turn on your supplier, etc. So the time and energy spent by LEO for the potential information return is nominal. After I think those thoughts, the posting doesn't have as much interest for me.

[brainpain]

never used cannabis before the injury
now its a daily part of my life
this is another bar in the window
i feel like a prisoner in my own home
cant leave for very long. plants will die
smell keeps folks away, thays why i keeps folks away
people just dont understand!
bp

[SIBANNAC]

it's a shame people are still judged for usin a medicine, cause I'm sure if you were on anitdepressants or Oxy's or other narcotics thats acceptable because it aint reefer madness.

You guys need to get a good labrador retriver, best dogs ever and they will never judge you. And they love hangin out when you medicate cause you might get the munchies.

[rxb]

You guys need to get a good labrador retriver, best dogs ever

Gotta' disagree SIB. They're very good but not Golden ;)
--r

[Cannahope]

I don't know Sib, I'm kind of partial to women. I have a dog; it's just not the same.

[dank.Frank]

I don't know Sib, I'm kind of partial to women. I have a dog; it's just not the same.

hehehehe....okay...I'll just let the whole thing slide....


dank.Frank

[rxb]

I'm kind of partial to women. I have a dog; it's just not the same.

Sounds like you need to work with the mutt. My golden is great because he fetches women for me ;) He's not too picky about the canna thing but he always picks carnivores.
--r

[Cannahope]

hehehehe....okay...I'll just let the whole thing slide....


dank.Frank

lol that's probably best...

[Kathy]

I can't believe you guys are talking about dogs!!!! Geesh, you give up easily....

[zigzag1a]

I can't say that it's ever been an issue for me. But I think we run in very different crowds, pretty much anywhere I've gone for the past 20 or 30 years everyone has either been an mj user or had no qualms about the matter. Even my ex wife, while a casual smoker did not readily agree with my growing mj back in the early 80's, she allowed me to do it.




I am just curious, as I seem to find myself in this predicament a lot, so I am curious if others find themselves at similar odds...

Does anyone else find there involvement in cannabis preventing them from finding a partner? If so, I'd love to hear your spiel and what you have done to overcome this obstacle....


dank.Frank

[Cannahope]

Don't worry, Kathy, the dog is not an option for me and I'm keeping my eye on the target, even though she moved 1600 miles away...lol. I think I may be ready for a change of scenery too...:)

[SIBANNAC]

oh don't get me wrong i have my lady friends too. Just a dog never tells you your farts stink lol.

[Kathy]

As the resident cheerleader here, I want you to follow that woman, Cannahope. A change of scenery will invigorate the neural pathways in your brain.

As to the chaos factor caused by having and using large quantities of cannabis, there is absolutely no doubt that it causes problems for me in relationships. It causes inevitable stress because it is illegal for other people.

So the question is not whether we have increased relationship difficulties, but rather how we can
make things easier for ourselves and people we care about.

There are no easy answers to this, but some people may be better at avoiding problems than others. Seems to me that all people either love cannabis or hate it and either group could be difficult to negotiate for different reasons. There will always be added pressure on us until prohibition ends.


Don't worry, Kathy, the dog is not an option for me and I'm keeping my eye on the target, even though she moved 1600 miles away...lol. I think I may be ready for a change of scenery too...:)

[rocket_science]

If you want to move, just move.
I did, and its way better!

[Cannahope]

I wish it was that easy. Gotta think about the kids, and what's best for them. Meanwhile my mind is working on how me moving could make it better for the kids...

[Kathy]

How come there's that red, grouchy icon on this thread? Can someone replace that?

Something like this would be better::p

[Gary Andrew Pallister]

I'm waiting,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,continue.

[rocket_science]

I wish it was that easy. Gotta think about the kids, and what's best for them. Meanwhile my mind is working on how me moving could make it better for the kids...

How old are the kids approx?

The happier you are the happier they will be. I got moved a couple of times as a kid and I'm better off for it.

Just don't move to a trailer park in the middle of Arizona or Texas and I'm sure they'll find lots to do!

[Cannahope]

How old are the kids approx?

The happier you are the happier they will be. I got moved a couple of times as a kid and I'm better off for it.

Just don't move to a trailer park in the middle of Arizona or Texas and I'm sure they'll find lots to do!

The kids are in the 8-16 range...lol somewhere in there, just trying to keep it anonymous.

I agree about happiness.

The biggest problem is that such a distance between parents will decrease the frequency of visits while increasing the duration; someone isn't gonna be happy. With the family court system involved (divorce / custody agreements) it could get ugly, time consuming and expensive. My ex isn't a very friendly person. I love a challenge though.

Love or lack of it is a key component of life; like work, food, sleep; so I find I can't just ignore it. All I know is, if it's gonna harm the kids in any way I won't be selfish. Lots to think about and analyze...make a decision and go with it, live with the results. That's life, huh?

[vryselctiv]

you can talk, laugh,cry, and shout all u like now where's my plants. i don't bother with the subjects

[dank.Frank]

I can say, that due to recent experience, within the past month or so...I've found myself yet again involved with a complete non-smoker. Like all times before, I've kept things completely quiet about my hobby and very much off radar in regards to my usage, but I have stated that I do use cannabis daily...

At this point and time, this doesn't seem to be an issue...time will tell....


dank.Frank

[b0b_b1tch1n]

i say avoid the snobish closed minded upidy type women from now on

hopefully the one you found this time has an open mind

[KING_JOHN_C]

You guys need to get a good labrador retriver, best dogs ever and they will never judge you. And they love hangin out.


beautiful labrador retriever! when i was young, we had a malmute/shepard cross, that perished, my neighbors had 2 dogs, one a shit zhue the other dog was a golden lab named rover. one year i house sat the dogs each day for a few hours. Rover was so powerful and energetic. he also had a habbit of escaping their yard over the 7" tall fence. he worked out how to spring off the house and on the fence,rebounding back and forth till he could clear the fence! one year in the winter, he fell thou the ice in the swimming pool. we frantically were worried he would drown and how to help him. he had such strength he broke thru the 3.5"thick ice with explosive power. he was indeed a intelligent, crafty and caring dog.

over my life, my family has had many dogs, cats, rabbits, hamsters and i have kept many reptiles,amphibians and tropical fish.

these are my 2 favorite crosses of all time golden Labrador retriever, and shepherds. one could not ask for more from a companion for loyalty and compassion.

[KING_JOHN_C]

....until I eventually divulge my other business. I am a MMJ caregiver, that only accepts patients who are disabled or on SSI, and supply them with medicine for zero cost.

This seems to be an instant nail in the coffin for everyone I have ever truly considered worth my time. It seems that this knowledge instantly takes me from knight in shinning armor to drug dealing scum gutter trash.

I could in all reality, NEVER disclose this tidbit and things could continue to flourish. At some point though, it becomes important, if not necessary, to share the entirety of my being and that includes being a compassionate caregiver.

Does anyone else find there involvement in cannabis preventing them from finding a partner?

dank.Frank

i commend you for your compassionate acts.
personal morals and beliefs are at the heart of who we truly are as individuals.

change in perception of what mmj is and what it is used for beyond recreational use is occurring among us. as it is being separated from traffickers "gang life" to medication sustaining treatment.

in Canada, several large metropolitan areas are lessening laws and creating more awareness. as well as acceptance.
in the united states, county's and states are voting for decriminalization and regulation.

there is always a "Ying Yang" is the backlash of regulating body's and police force actions to manage this.

this is all breaking the link of mmj being a associated with Criminal Gangs. that perception will subconsciously become accepted.
no change is instant, but it is a trend that your compassionate acts will be seen as your greatest qualities.

again, i commend you for your compassionate acts.

[gelu65]

I think anyone looking to meet should be upfront pretty quick because most other people can smell the pot that you cant, lots of people say nothing but if you dont tell them up front it looks like you have a problem to those that arent familiar with our meds. Jerry

[Kathy]

I do not like being with nonusers. Those I have been think that cannabis is exotic and intriguing and they will stick around longer than they should just to feel like weekend warriors. I have caught dates watching me intently smoking a joint as if they anticipate I will turn into a romulan or start dancing naked around the garden. I like other cannabis users and miss the social interaction that it makes possible. I miss the humour and ability to appreciate sensory experiences that we have.

I do not think I could be with anyone very long who did not share these things with me. Cannabis is a love story in itself and just makes everything better. Trying to hide it from someone would be like having to hide the refrigerator. It's impossible and why would I want to.

[RockyBud]

I do not like being with nonusers. Those I have been think that cannabis is exotic and intriguing and they will stick around longer than they should just to feel like weekend warriors. I have caught dates watching me intently smoking a joint as if they anticipate I will turn into a romulan or start dancing naked around the garden. I like other cannabis users and miss the social interaction that it makes possible. I miss the humour and ability to appreciate sensory experiences that we have.

I do not think I could be with anyone very long who did not share these things with me. Cannabis is a love story in itself and just makes everything better. Trying to hide it from someone would be like having to hide the refrigerator. It's impossible and why would I want to.

Interesting....well put Kathy.

[dank.Frank]

Update...relationship was good for 6 months...miserable for 4...did not work. Long story short.


dank.Frank

[pflover]

I find quite the opposite, cannabis helps me find good partners and those that do not use it themselves do not care.... then again I live in Oregon....

[Nurrah]

Oregon looks better every day ;)

I agree though, I've gotten to where I won't look twice at anyone who isn't into the lifestyle, barring the idiot partying recreational types.

But few of them are geeks anyway, which is my first choice.

My fiancé is actually the whole reason I ever found this place to begin with, we were friends long before I realised how awesome he is.

[Cannasaurus]

No.

People that love you won't give a fuck.

People who give a fuck need to get gone.

Have a nice day. :)

[Borrowed-time]

Dank.frank are you a federal exemptee? If not this may be the problem. Risking a criminal record that could ruin a career and financial security might be too much for the woman you are dating. Don't think you can be busted? Think again, I thought that. Thankfully my GF didn't flinch at being charged with cultivation and trafficking. I am now a federal exemptee, but still facing criminal charges in court.