HIV poz-a-tive

[pozman]

Its every mans and or womans living night-mare to be diagnosed with HIV. A sudden feeling of dirtiness that stains the fabric of life. Once the initial shock of diagnosis wore off for me a bottomless chasm of dispair opened. Depression would have surely waged war on the remains of my daily life. I know for a fact now that if I hadn't already been a chronic medical marijuana user. I would have became one. Now going on 12 years since being diagnosed HIV+ I have to say without any doubt that medical marijuana helped me cope with both the mental and the physical issues that would have been unbearable. I owe my respects to the entity that created such a awesome plant, and for those of us that would risk penalties in order to insure a quality life, in a world full of pain and intolerance.

[GreenFlame]

I can't say anything other than I read your posts,and I agree with you.I hope you continue in good health.Keep your Faith.

[Pothead Pete]

stay strong you are not alone!!! God Bless!!!:) :)

[purplesmoke]

keep smoking and i wish you another healthy 20 years

[Sadsoul1976]

How long have you been in treatment , if you are? and is it true that the treatment makes you sicker than the virus......until your body get used to the medicin, i ask becuase i was diagnos with HIV the 26 of dicember about three years ago, i'm not taking treatment and all i can say is that i cry for my own self everday and knowing that i will leave my two kids without dad. It was not from sex , prostitud, it was from a dirty syringe. sociaty makes this sickness worst by the way i see people treat hiv persons, and it hurts in the inside. so far i will not take treatment because i will love to go fast so my kids wont suffer from people knowing that there dad is HIV patient. i'm 29 years old, my kids are 7 and 9 years old, they grow so fast . they live with there mom because we are separated for about 5 years now, because of my adicction that i had , now i have been clean about 3 years now. Ever weekend they stay with me from sat to sund, they are everthing for me.... thats what keeps me going , if i didn't have kids i allready would of taken my life .(Its a sad reallity but true) now you guys know why my name is Sadsoul !

[Sadsoul1976]

i forgot to say that i'm not skinny , i have never lost weight or anything,i'm 6'2 ,240lb, the first year i lost weight but it was the suffering when you first know it but weed has help alot in mind peace , depression , helps eating , helps sleeping , and i love it.

[slater]

sadsoul, it is important to get regular phisicals to check your cd4 count and viral load. hiv and aids is not a death sentence it used to be. chances are you will live a long long life unless you leave your diease unchecked of coarse then your chances are against you.

i also have hivc + hep c , both which are both in remission. they say its cause i am living a healthy lifestyle and may be cause of my genes( i buy mine at walmart) are so good. i also got infected with a dirty needle, i believe, cause any prostitutes i was with i wore a condom, but who knows.

i can relate to the first time i found out i was infected, lying in a jail cell and requested to be tested cause i knew it was going to be negitive cause i was always so careful. well when the nurse called me out and told me that my test came back positive it was like this big empty hole inside of me. i thought i was going to die. i cried for three days...they thought i was going to kill myself, i dunno where they got that idea...i didnt want toi die. but that really sucked, being all alone in jail...having to make them dreaded phone calls to my family and share my bad news.
finding out that i had hiv has made me a better person. i used to be a professional shoplifter, stealing three to five thousand dollars worth of merchandise every day for five years....racked up warrants in six counties. now i have a girl who is very supportive of me. and i havent stolen anything in almost four years now

the worse part about this diease is the ignorance that alot of people carry about this diease. one store owner in our area was approached to see if they would donate to an aids auction that is put on every year in our area and his response was he thought anyone with aids should be shot. there is a real stagnic that goes along with aids and hiv. as far as smoking cannabis...it has really helped me cope with the depression that i have been struggling with.

[Sadsoul1976]

Your words are almost my life , i have read and research alot of info but what really makes me feel bad is not the virus is knowing that i have it. That store owner is what i'm talking about, they make you feel worst , not that i care but it hurts and the only people that knows that i have hiv is my mom and two sister, my older brother and older sister don't know that i have hiv, not even my dad. only three people know it and know you guys , i don't talk about but writing the post yesterday has help a little, i don't know why i wrote it but i did..........i wish you good health my friend !!!!!!!!!!and its true weed has help alot in alot of ways so let keep growing big and green!!!!!medical marihuana!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!TY is the way to go !!!!!!!!!!!!!


Sincerely ............////////////

[buddyh]

I love this place.
Guys guys are great.
Thanks for sharing so openly.
Buddyh

[Biggs]

Sadsoul, we all have similar stories. I was on the verge of death. My viral load was 200000 and cd 4 was 13. I can remember the feeling of hopelessness. On top of that bomb I also had to admit to myself and family that I was gay. A double dose of reality. I had been struggling with it for many years, not wanting to be but it is who I am.

After getting support from a Therapist and now coping with the medicine I know life goes on. I had to go directly on to medicine or I would of died. For me the Sulfur Antibotics were the worst. I have now found two drugs that have brought my cd numbers to around 180 and my viral load is undetectable.

The MJ helps me with any side effects of the medicine. It turns out that I have had the virus for over 10 years. Now I do not look at it as a death sentence. Yes I made some mistakes in my life but now that I have taken control and a positive attitude to live each day.

Be strong and know that you should only start meds when your body tells you so. You want to stay off of them as long as you can. Then there will be many cocktails for you to try and will not run out.

Again stay strong

Biggs

[Sadsoul1976]

Your right buddy , we share or truth and we all have something in comen , we love to grow , smell , eat , and smoke weed.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!You can say we are all one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
__________________________________________________ _______________
So far Biggs i feel pretty good , when i get the cold i get back on my feet fast , so my imune system is still there. I remember when i was like 14 i useto say if i ever get that virus i will do what i wanted too and don't care of anybody and now that i have it i changed for the good , i want people to remember me like a good , kind and helpful person. life is hard but if it was easy why live at all right. i'm glad you guys are doing better, all who posted here, Sincerely ...............///////////////////// lets just live a while............

[Pothead Pete]

I remember the feeling you get when you are diagnosed with AIDS/H.I.V. I was full of despair and panic. But the thing is that with todays meds you can live a fairly normal life. I have just been advised by my H.I.V. specialist that the meds I am on are to be combined in 2 easy pills taken once daily at bedtime. I am on Sustiva and the new combination drug KIVEXA....which is a combination of ZIAGEN and 3TC. The great thing is I can now sleep off most of my side effects and only have to deal with diarrhea occasionally. I think that one day you will need H.I.V. meds and the field of H.I.V. meds is expanding on a daily basis. I remember a member here stating that the virus is "asleep" and you have to control your H.I.V.....don't let it control YOU!!!! I for one have an undetectable viral load(initially 158,000) and have seen my CD4 cellcount rise from 20(4% of immune system left) to over 600 today. I have an immune system that has almost returned to normal....it takes lots of time. Thus I have taken to heart the members statement I have control of my H.I.V.....it doesn't control me!!!:cool: :cool:

[pozman]

The medications designed to be toxic to the virus have already proven to be toxic to the person ingesting them...ziagen is a known killer. I nearly died from azt poisoning last year. viread can cause kidney failure. Sure the short term effects are great but long term taking of any HIV medication can and will cause mutations of the virus that become immune to the medications...I have heard of stem cell harvesting that creates HIV specific T -cells that are then reintroduced into the body has proven to be more effective than taking meds. I am sorry to say that those who think that they are in control of the virus are sadly mistaken. Only if total eradication of the virus becomes possible then and only then will we have any control over it, or its effects on our bodies. Live each day as if it were your last, for know one knows when thier end may come. I don't waste away in a state of depression, but as long as I have some mmj I do spend a good portion of the day expanding my mental awarenesses.

[-VT-]

great thread...new here so won't say much else for now...I am HIV + since '97 (needle)...I've been on a 3 year holiday from the anti-retrovirals now and my T Cells are higher actually (course I don't know if that's "naive" or "non naive")...it was a tough decision to take the holiday as it was stimulated by extenuating circumstances (ADAP mixup)...anyways...due to the aforementioned long term effects, and the known fact that the "wild virus" becomes dominant in the absence of antiretrovirals...I'm hopeful I enjoy the same efficacy I did at the onset of treatment...I regret the HAART approach now...but that was the recommended plan of action in San Francisco at the time...anyways...great thread...nice to know we're not alone...lots of good things shared here...thanks all

Peace

[Ziggy]

How long have you been in treatment , if you are? and is it true that the treatment makes you sicker than the virus......until your body get used to the medicin, i ask becuase i was diagnos with HIV the 26 of dicember about three years ago, i'm not taking treatment and all i can say is that i cry for my own self everday and knowing that i will leave my two kids without dad. It was not from sex , prostitud, it was from a dirty syringe. sociaty makes this sickness worst by the way i see people treat hiv persons, and it hurts in the inside. so far i will not take treatment because i will love to go fast so my kids wont suffer from people knowing that there dad is HIV patient. i'm 29 years old, my kids are 7 and 9 years old, they grow so fast . they live with there mom because we are separated for about 5 years now, because of my adicction that i had , now i have been clean about 3 years now. Ever weekend they stay with me from sat to sund, they are everthing for me.... thats what keeps me going , if i didn't have kids i allready would of taken my life .(Its a sad reallity but true) now you guys know why my name is Sadsoul !



Damn bro the meds are kinda tough but it beats the hell out of dying from the damn disease and thats what will happen if you don't get some Medical help i am HIV + and have been on meds since 1994 i have a lot of problems with side effects and being a Diabetic on top of that hell i could go on and on buddy but this is not about me its about you do something for yourself and get hooked up with something i use MJ for Neuropothy and Fatigue and as an appetite inducer probably misspelled. I had a partner who i was with for 10 years that died in 1994 it was Horrible to see the man i loved for 10 years go from a 210-215 lbs to 80 in a matter of days i changed his diapers eys he was like a little babby and he was a proud man when he was well (German Stubborn ass hole he was i gave him his meds until the end Liquid Morrophene is all that would help him that i had to place on his gums because he couldn't speak to me any longer tears are starting to fly so if you dont like gettin wet then look out bro lol. My pont to this is to tell you its better to get hooked up sooner than later because it then may be to late.

Peace to you my friend and i wish you well in your journey.

[Biggs]

Sadsoul, how are things going?

Any Updates?

Biggs

[dykster]

Wow...Sadsoul I understand your pain about your kids. Take care of yourself so you can se them grow my friend. Spend your time with them, talk to them, hug them, love them and let them know. If you do these things, you will have been the best dad in the world when they look back. All our children will look back and remember us. We are all senenced to death in this world. We would just like it to be more what we are accustomed to...living to a ripe old age. But what is the purpose of living if you don't do it with love. It will be as it will be for you. Please take care of yourself and love those kids. That is your biggest contribution to this big turning ball we live on. Keep up the love. Peace my friend and thank you for sharing such a moving story.