Today is the 7th anniversary of my husband's death from cancer. Every year on this day I make my pilgrimage to his memorial which I created at the Aeolian Hall where I donated his much loved grand piano. The piano is in a teaching room in the music school and there is a plaque on the wall that memorializes Michael, and "The Spirit of the Music".
I scattered his ashes and did nothing with graveyards. Music was Michaels's life and I wanted his memory to live among musicians who would probably never know his name. So the memorial at the performance hall and music studio was right.
What saddens me, other than the natural grief of loss of a fine man and friend, is that neither my son, nor his best friend, have
ever visited that memorial, nor spent a minute of this day with me. I know all about their pain and how men deal with grief.
The loss of the courage of these men he loved causes deeper grief and loss for me.
I will go later and buy some flowers and go and sit in that room and touch the places on the piano where his rings scratched the board. I wont feel any closer to him or think his death had any more sense that it did.
I woke up this morning not thinking about what day it was and was hit by a cannonball of unexpected grief as my husband's presence and then loss hit me as if it had happened today. Oh yes, it is my Remembrance Day, I had to remind myself.
Michael Lewis - October 15 1949 - November 11 2003
At the end of every one of his shows, he said "Take care of each other." Please do.