Online Alien _ Feb 2006

[buddyh]

Online Alien

Read the contest rules: http://www.treatingyourself.com/vbul...ement.php?f=45

Thanks to our sponsor at http://www.growshopalien.com we are able to give away some of their QUALITY GENETICS monthly.

Contest runs from Feburary 2nd – 28th, 2006
Winner will be announced by March 3rd, 2006

You have just arrived unannounced of an inhabited alien world.
Tell us about what happens.
840 words or less

As an Additional rule to this and every contest. All Contest winners are to PM me and to make a post when they receive their prize. To let me specifically know when they receive their prize and to let the TY community know as well.


Good Luck to all

[ScurvyPirateGuy]

I have read the rules

Ahhhhhhhrrrrrgggghhhhhh !!!! Hunh ! hunh! hunh! thump!!!

A lot of thoughts go thru your head during the 4 minutes or so it takes to slowly asphyxiate on an alien planet with no breathable atmosphere.

I lay on my back, staring up at the lovely mother earth spinning oh so far away, knowing I’ll never touch it again. Damn. I wish I’d bought oxygen – but I was all out of wishes.

The day had started out so well. The tropical beach. The strange ancient lamp I found that shined up so nice. The friendly genie. The first two of my three wishes ….

Yup, I’d been instantly transformed from a modern day Shaggy into a well moneyed, un-catchable grower of supreme herb. ME … who never had quite enough cash for an eighth and who couldn’t grow mold in a refrigerator.

There I was kicked backed in my mansion; puffing on the BEST weed in the world (the genie said so). The girls were all gathered round as we sat by the pool and sucked down a huge jay. Things got kinda hazy and one thing led to another … and then we got to conversing.

One of the girls said something like, “You’ve sure got a lot of cash, you can buy anything you want, so what’re you going to do with all that?”

I knew I wanted something that money couldn’t buy. But what?

I thought about it for a bit. Neil Armstrong had already walked on the moon, so that kinda ruined that thought. I wanted to do something no one had ever done before. A first.

So then I says “Well, they’re not selling tickets yet, but I really wish I could be the first man to go to Mars”

Pfffff – Wish #3.

The barren landscape is real nice. Yet, somehow I’m sure Captain Kirk never envisioned me laying here like this when he uttered the words “Space, the final frontier”

As I fade slowly into unconsciousness a Mars rover bumps up against my head. It keeps bumping – my last thought flashes before me – it’ll take at least 10 minutes for the signal to get here to stop that thing from bumping against my head. Everything’s going black.

Bump, bump, bump …


PS: Woulda made this longer, but that 4 minutes I mentioned at the beginning was really more like 2 and a half … FYI

[stnkydnky]

I have read the contest rules..
this is what i expirenced

First patient, pull out the skull, remove the cancer
Breakin' his back, chisel necks for the answer
Supersonic bionic robot voodoo power
Equator ex my chance to flex skills on Ampex
With power meters and heaters gauge anti-freeze
Octagon oxygen, aluminum intoxicants Space Ranger, contact tubes, send synthetics
I program one and go to Earth through the fax machine
My number's Seven-Oh-Nine Seven-Five-Five Six-E-L-Three
Computer File: Nine-Three
Digital level, standing on the terminal
Upside down through polygons fightin' pentagons
Changin' blue skin, my brown colour's comin' back
I'm psychedelic this time, come in rainbow
Look at the green lights and y'all see my brain glow
Five colours: yellow, black and red and green...purple
More ways to blow blood cells in your face
React with four bombs and six fire missiles
Armed with seven rounds of space doo-doo pistols
You may not believe, livin' on the Earth planet
My skin is green and silver, warhead lookin' mean
Astronauts get played, tough like the ukelele
As I move in rockets, overriding, levels
Nothing's aware, same data, same system ...Now my helmet's on, you can't tell me I'm not in space
With the National Guard United States Enterprise
Diplomat of swing with aliens at my feet
Comin' down the rampart through beam on the street
Obsolete computes, compounds and dead sounds
As I locate intricately independent
Economic rhymer got savoury store food
In Capsule D my program is ability
For a reaction and response to a no-one
Identification Code: Unidentified
I got cosmophonic, pressed a button, changed my face
You recognised, so what? I turned invisible
Made myself clear, reappeared to you visual
Disappear again, zapped like a android
Face the fact, I fly on planets every day
My nucleus friend, prepare, I return again
My 7XL is not yet invented

[Sadsoul1976]

I have read the rules !

I'll try to hide and study the way they talk , walk , eat , dress , do , there weapons and hope i can get one near close to take his clothe and weapon so i can hunt and defend my self , i'll try to make friends with there kids , its easyer to do, they don't have hate and maddness they just have fun , friendly and happiness and then try to help any injured adult so they can see i come in peace and i want to be social with them. and don't forget that i always have no less then two pounds of my green medicine that i know i'll make them laugh and get stone . marihuana speaks all language needed.
!!!!!!!!!! marihuana makes me free !!!!!!!!!!


sincerely ...........///////////

[rev.clone]

I have read the rules

My spacecraft touches down and the door slowly opens. I walk off the craft and I’m greeted by the aliens. I pull out a Grape Treat bud and offer it to them as a gift and a sign of peace. As I give them the bud they notice I’m an American and start to freak out. I tell them I come in peace but they don’t believe me. I overhear them say I will only bring more Americans that will try to “spread freedom” and place a McDonalds on every planet in the galaxy. I plea with them but to no avail, the aliens take me prisoner. After being tortured at an off planet secret location the aliens deny they have. I am brought to trial and stand before the alien’s supreme council. At the trial I am found guilty of a false charge and sentenced to death. The alien judge then takes me and places me in a giant vaporizer with the bud I offered as a gift. He turns it on and poof I’m now vaporized in a cloud of smoke in a bag. After coughing for ten minutes and getting the high of his life. The alien looks around at the room and states” these humans are the best shit I’ve ever smoked in my six hundred years. We need to go to earth and take it over; after all they have something we must have”